Clothes

Everyone wears clothes, unlike most species in this galaxy. My studies show wearing clothes interferes with proper brain functioning. Can the silly Earthlings stop wearing clothes?

Powerful Eyes

Scrutinizing the eyes reveals immense capability. Staring changes the silly Earthlings by rearranging brain patterns creating a more peaceful and intelligent species. Try it. Stare at someone you know for an hour and think, "You can." Eventually this thought resonates and that silly Earthling accomplishes milestones.

How to Help the Silly Earthlings Become Wealthy

I notice Earthlings expect to become wealthy someday. Yet they work at jobs that pay peanuts and spend their free time playing games, watching movies and other nonsense that makes no money. I call them on this contradiction, explaining they need to spend most of their time making money or investing and they give me flimsy excuses to not make money.

Is this a brain malfunction? A defective gene? May we haul all the silly Earthlings to planet Zort and run them through our defrigulator? Let's discuss this at our next meeting.

Greetings, I am Jerome From the Planet Zort

I received permission to make my reports about the silly Earthlings to the entities on the planet Zort available to the public. Here is my first report.

Earthlings falsely believe they rule the planet. Cannot tell if this myth and many others result from a defective gene, a brain malfunction or sheer stupidity. Nearly everyone has OPINIONS. Forget whether these views make any sense. Opinions equals fact, period. I learned quickly never to argue with the silly Earthlings. Let's work on eliminating these myths.