Taxes

Everyone I meet dislikes the IRS and then sends the forms. Why pay an income tax that was created temporarily for World War I? The silly Earthlings prefer to complain rather than write letters demanding income taxes be abolished.

Pain

Why create pain when the body malfunctions? Rearrange the silly Earthlings and make a bell ring instead.

Christians

Christians try to convert me to make sure I go to heaven even after I explain that none of us from the planet Zort dies. We have been alive for thousands of years.

Pay More For Quality

Just cause the price scoots higher than somewhere else you are not cheated paying more money. The silly Earthlings run around frantically looking for the lowest price. If you have limited dollars, stop wasting money on alcohol and soda pop then you can afford to pay higher prices which usually results in a quality product.

Travel with a Sleeper

The train offers sleepers, a private room for a sound sleep. An airplane provides a chair and forces you to sleep upright. How ridiculous. Why can't the airlines provide sleepers? Buses do not offer sleepers, either. Why not? The airlines and buses lack any class.

Species Disappear

Species disappear too fast from Earth which usually means hiding on another planet or dimension. I flew to Jupiter, Saturn and finally found all the supposedly extinct species on Venus. I discovered their goal. Convince every living creature living on Earth except people to scoot over to Venus. I asked why. Repeatedly I was told the silly Earthlings poison Earth and other species cannot breathe. How will this planet change when only the silly Earthlings are left?

Nightclub Nightmare

I was persuaded to visit a nightclub. It was a nightmare. The band members cannot sing, the music is too loud and slow songs cause a mass exodus from the dance floor. It's hard to get the silly Earthlings to dance without drinking alcohol yet the band plays slow songs. I found this disgusting. Dance, silly Earthlings, often as possible because it solves problems.

Waiting in Line

I wonder about the silly Earthlings waiting in line at stores. Seems like a waste of time. Why not construct conveyers that scoot products from stores to homes? Order at home and the store plops the product on the conveyer. Whoosh the item arrives at home.

Boring Houses

Who designs houses? They look mundane. Where's the imagination? On Zort we live in programmed structures that change all the time. Our structures dance, float, rotate, sing, stretch and turn. I admit we can create shapes on Zort that cannot be repeated on Earth making some limitations here. However, a little bit of creativity can make houses shaped as space ships, stars and jello. Wake up, designers!

Clothes

Everyone wears clothes, unlike most species in this galaxy. My studies show wearing clothes interferes with proper brain functioning. Can the silly Earthlings stop wearing clothes?

Powerful Eyes

Scrutinizing the eyes reveals immense capability. Staring changes the silly Earthlings by rearranging brain patterns creating a more peaceful and intelligent species. Try it. Stare at someone you know for an hour and think, "You can." Eventually this thought resonates and that silly Earthling accomplishes milestones.

Spending Money

Spend, spend, spend. Nearly everyone I meet is broke from wasting money on concerts, sporting events and vacations. This keeps the silly Earthlings working in order to pay for cheap thrills. I mention the advantages of enjoying free activities and adding to a savings account but all I receive is silence from the silly Earthlings.

Stop

spending

money!

Why Die?

I cannot understand why the silly Earthlings die. We live forever on planet Zort. What causes death? Some claim oxygen is a toxin and slowly kills bodies. If true, then why was the body set up to breathe oxygen?

Fountains

Fountains might allow the silly Earthlings to fly. Shoot them into fountains. As they soar into the air, the silly Earthlings flap arms and legs to move long distances. I will experiment and send another report soon.