Business Forecast

Large companies merge together. The silly Earthlings continue to falsely believe the merging creates jobs and prosperity. Eventually I see only one corporation controlling 100 percent of all business. Will the silly Earthlings believe one corporation on the planet creates jobs and prosperity?

Long Noses

Why do the Republican's noses grow longer each time they speak? I asked many silly Earthlings, but all they do is stare at me.

Dating Sites

I joined the free dating sites to learn about the single Earthlings and to find more Extraterrestrials.  An Earthling responded with, "After reading your profile I cannot tell if you are brilliant or crazy."

Emotions

After much observation I see that emotion ruins the silly Earthlings. Can we eliminate emotions from Earthlings?

Acceptance into Heaven

I hear a lot of noise about the silly Earthlings moving to Heaven. What about everyone born over 2000 years ago? Did all of them get into Heaven?

Reflections About Zort

The silly Earthlings ask if we get tired of always engaging in erotic encounters and dancing constantly on the planet Zort. I tell them, "No, everything else is a waste of time." The silly Earthlings just stare at me. Why?

Taxes

Everyone I meet dislikes the IRS and then sends the forms. Why pay an income tax that was created temporarily for World War I? The silly Earthlings prefer to complain rather than write letters demanding income taxes be abolished.