Trampoline

It seems trampolines make the silly Earthlings peaceful. Perhaps this is because it defies gravity. I urge all of you to jump often as possible.

Flying

At a meeting, my associates on Zort demand I experiment with finding a method that allows the silly Earthlings to fly. They can go up a couple of inches then head back down to the ground. I devised an object shaped like an umbrella that pushes gravity into the sky. Unfortunately the gravity only moves an inch. I am revising the object and will provide an update soon.

Stop Working for Peanuts

I see too many struggling to make ends meet. Why can't the silly Earthlings make $100 an hour? I almost understand working for low wages if the work is fascinating. But even fascinating can be turned into $100 an hour with plenty of effort. At our next meeting on Zort let's work on helping the silly Earthlings make at least $100 an hour.

I Can!

Too many Silly Earthlings start a sentence with, "I can't..." Nonsense. Why stop yourself with silly excuses? I never see this on my home planet Zort.

Say, "I can..." and you will achieve it all. I say, " I can fly" and look, I am on Earth, flying all the way from Zort. What can you accomplish?

Travel

Amazing that silly Earthlings cheerily travel to boring locations on Earth. Why bother when other planets and dimensions provide fantastic experiences? I believe the silly Earthlings can learn to fly.

Read the Computer Manuals!

Click anywhere on the computer screen with a mouse when the silly Earthlings cannot figure out how to use a program. Why can't the silly Earthlings read the manuals? Software companies provide plenty of help files yet the silly Earthlings complain about impossible programs. Another contradiction from this species, good grief. It's really not that hard to study the documentation. When stuck for a solution, type the problem into a search engine and out pops the answer.

Energy Reduction

Some believe that we must reduce our energy consumption. Great then keep the lights off permanently. A fire produces all the light needed for the silly Earthlings.