Splitting Earthlings in Half Update

The raducuptors that split the fat Earthlings in half made their brains function at low capacity. We have updated the raducuptors to make the minds function properly and are taking steps to fix the Earthlings that were processed by the raducuptors.

Help the Silly Earthlings Lose Weight

I see too many fat Earthlings on this planet. Pop raducuptors next to teller machines that will split the fat Earthlings in half. The result? Two skinny Earthlings.