Business Forecast

Large companies merge together. The silly Earthlings continue to falsely believe the merging creates jobs and prosperity. Eventually I see only one corporation controlling 100 percent of all business. Will the silly Earthlings believe one corporation on the planet creates jobs and prosperity?

Long Noses

Why do the Republican's noses grow longer each time they speak? I asked many silly Earthlings, but all they do is stare at me.

Emotions

After much observation I see that emotion ruins the silly Earthlings. Can we eliminate emotions from Earthlings?

Acceptance into Heaven

I hear a lot of noise about the silly Earthlings moving to Heaven. What about everyone born over 2000 years ago? Did all of them get into Heaven?

Reflections About Zort

The silly Earthlings ask if we get tired of always engaging in erotic encounters and dancing constantly on the planet Zort. I tell them, "No, everything else is a waste of time." The silly Earthlings just stare at me. Why?

Species Disappear

Species disappear too fast from Earth which usually means hiding on another planet or dimension. I flew to Jupiter, Saturn and finally found all the supposedly extinct species on Venus. I discovered their goal. Convince every living creature living on Earth except people to scoot over to Venus. I asked why. Repeatedly I was told the silly Earthlings poison Earth and other species cannot breathe. How will this planet change when only the silly Earthlings are left?

Spending Money

Spend, spend, spend. Nearly everyone I meet is broke from wasting money on concerts, sporting events and vacations. This keeps the silly Earthlings working in order to pay for cheap thrills. I mention the advantages of enjoying free activities and adding to a savings account but all I receive is silence from the silly Earthlings.

Stop

spending

money!

Why Die?

I cannot understand why the silly Earthlings die. We live forever on planet Zort. What causes death? Some claim oxygen is a toxin and slowly kills bodies. If true, then why was the body set up to breathe oxygen?

Trampoline

It seems trampolines make the silly Earthlings peaceful. Perhaps this is because it defies gravity. I urge all of you to jump often as possible.

Stop Working for Peanuts

I see too many struggling to make ends meet. Why can't the silly Earthlings make $100 an hour? I almost understand working for low wages if the work is fascinating. But even fascinating can be turned into $100 an hour with plenty of effort. At our next meeting on Zort let's work on helping the silly Earthlings make at least $100 an hour.

I Can!

Too many Silly Earthlings start a sentence with, "I can't..." Nonsense. Why stop yourself with silly excuses? I never see this on my home planet Zort.

Say, "I can..." and you will achieve it all. I say, " I can fly" and look, I am on Earth, flying all the way from Zort. What can you accomplish?

Travel

Amazing that silly Earthlings cheerily travel to boring locations on Earth. Why bother when other planets and dimensions provide fantastic experiences? I believe the silly Earthlings can learn to fly.

Read the Computer Manuals!

Click anywhere on the computer screen with a mouse when the silly Earthlings cannot figure out how to use a program. Why can't the silly Earthlings read the manuals? Software companies provide plenty of help files yet the silly Earthlings complain about impossible programs. Another contradiction from this species, good grief. It's really not that hard to study the documentation. When stuck for a solution, type the problem into a search engine and out pops the answer.

Avoid Sand

Sand keeps the ocean from taking over the planet. The silly Earthlings feel righteous about walking and then sitting on the sand. Nonsense. Sand causes cancer, heart disease and migraines.

Dishonesty at Work

I notice the silly Earthlings honest in their personal lives and dishonest at work. The false premise that anything is acceptable in business makes me want to leave Earth, fly to Zort and never return.

Why can't the silly Earthlings practice the same honesty at work they use at home?

Thin Earthings Can Help Others Lose Weight

Get skinny Earthlings to buy the food for those overweight and the world is filled with thin Earthlings. I doubt the overweight Earthlings will drive to get fattening food after arriving at home for the evening.

Splitting Earthlings in Half Update

The raducuptors that split the fat Earthlings in half made their brains function at low capacity. We have updated the raducuptors to make the minds function properly and are taking steps to fix the Earthlings that were processed by the raducuptors.

Draw

Make the silly Earthlings draw. It reduces stress, violence and cholesterol. I encounter too many that fiercely believe they cannot draw. Nonsense. Pop two circles on a piece of paper and a work of art emerges.

I propose we provide free classes for all the silly Earthlings.

Media Lies

The media manipulates the silly Earthlings. Stories with absoultely no truth are believed by the masses which I find amazing. A reporter may buy a video made by actors/actresses and yet it is published on the air.

I can hire actors/actresses, fly them down to Beliez and film them invading Mexico. Convince the locals it is real and the media reports a war developing in Mexico. The silly Earthlings fall for this type of reporting.

The only way to know if the media reports accurately is conduct your own investigation. Go to Mexico and see if a war is developing. Otherwise the silly Earthlings get fooled repeatedly.

Planet Earth Was Dropped

I flew around this galaxy and discovered the Earth located in the wrong solar system. Somehow the ingredients to form this planet were dropped and landed near the sun we all see.

A lot of problems are caused as a result.
1. Too much gravity prevents the silly Earthlings and other entities from flying.
2. Sleeping. No other planet makes species tired.
3. An unstable planet causing earthquakes, tornadoes and hurricanes.

Unless the Earth can be relocated, these problems will remain. How sad.